TBRI Tip #3: Self Regulation Tools
Last week we talked about teaching feelings of being regulated (green zone) and dysregulated (red and blue zones) and identifying these zones throughout the day. Now you’re ready to learn what helps them, and you, feel calmer using tools suggested in the TBRI Empowering Principle. The best way to do this is to get dysregulated on purpose by jumping around or something similar. Then try one of the Calming Tools listed below and find out if this helps you or your child feel calmer. Ask them, are you feeling a little bit calmer after using this tool? If so, remember it for next time and if not, it’s okay there’s others to try. Go through this process maybe three or four times and try out different tools to find out what helps. Then take a break and try again another day to find more tools that work for them. Once you’ve identified three Tools that work, write them down on a Regulation Poster so your child can refer to it later or you can warmly remind them to look at it.
These tools are not a magic bullet but they give us a place to ‘go to’ when we’re feeling agitated, angry or other feelings that cause us to feel out of control. Use them with small stressors first to practice calming down by saying, let’s try to self-regulate, then together do the thing that helps them feel better or you can be a role model for your child and say I’m feeling stressed so I’m going to practice deep breathing. After some practice and good knowledge of what’s helpful THEN suggest using them in more difficult, crunch times. If you do it prematurely then it will likely not help because when you’re dysregulated your thinking brain is offline, making it almost impossible to choose something to calm down if it hasn’t already been practiced. Then you will conclude this doesn’t work in the real times of anger, anxiety etc. The truth is we cannot use these tools when we’re actually dysregulated unless we’ve practiced them a lot before. Think of it like an NBA player. They aren’t going to try out a spin move at a crunch time in a game if they haven’t practiced and mastered it during a calm, non-game time. It’s the same for us.
Teach and Apply Self-regulation Tools
1. Make Engine Plate
2. Identify zones/feelings-body and emotion word
3. Practice dysregulation by jumping around or something similar and notice that feeling
4. Practice Calming Tools and identify how each one helps or doesn’t, notice that feeling
5. Experience this over and over to find what helps to feel calm or good.
Calming Tools
1. Magic mustache
2. Chair push ups
3. Pushing against the wall
4. Blowing your soup
5. Weighted object
6. Fidget to play with
7. Chewing gum
8. Sucking hard candy
9. Calming music
10. Smell essential oils-lavender and vanilla are calming
11. Sensory buckets with beans or rice
12. Pillow sandwich
13. Slow stretching/yoga positions
14. Deep belly breathing
15. Watch glitter float to the bottom of glitter jar
For description of these tools and other TBRI Principles go to www.child.tcu.edu.
There are many other regulation ideas to explore on the internet.
Regulation Poster
3 things I can do when I’m dysregulated are:
1.
2.
3.
These can be words or pictures-drawn, from a magazine or a photo-whatever your child would like.
This is an example of a child’s calming toolkit. Initially they will need your help to do it. We come alongside our kids in helping them regulate and heal, especially in the difficult times!