TBRI Tip #31: Emotional Regulation

According to TBRI Empowering Principles, for kids who have experienced a trauma history, self-regulation or emotional regulation needs to be taught as a skill since their regulation circuits were not optimally developed. What we know about these kids is their emotional and behavioral problems are actually dysregulation. Children who have come from their needs not being met, being harmed or having chaos in their family, will not have developed the capacity for self-regulation. This lack of capacity then leads them to spiral out of control in fight, flight or freeze from even a small disruption in their life. But this is not willful disobedience, this is the only response their brain and body have been wired to do. This is tragic because as these kids have meltdowns, rage, aggression, or other biologically wired ways of responding that look like behavior to us. These behaviors are typically met with harsh words, threats or punishment which them sends them further into their fight flight or freeze behavior. How can we stop this cycle and help our child recover from their history? We need to first and foremost, look at understanding and helping them to regulate and how we can instead calm and comfort them during their worst behaviors.